Those words were from one of my favourite Diana Ross songs, and this is a question that I often ask myself, when life is feeling challenging and I’m weary from trying too hard and pushing too hard. Just recently I hit a wall, it came at me from a distance, I could see it looming, an imposing presence and I chose to ignore it. I could feel my energy levels start to slowly decline over a couple of months, and then suddenly all I could feel was despair and hopelessness. It was a scary place to be, but I knew the terrain, I had been to the shadow side of life before, years ago. It took consistent effort and internal work to crawl out of that pit, afterwards I vowed never to return. I think this time it just wanted to remind me that it was always present if ever I wanted to visit again. There have been certain times over the years when that fog outstayed its welcome and I would find reprieve in alcohol, and dysfunctional relationships, that just entrenched it further. This time it was here to tell me that I was working too hard, giving too much, and had some unresolved issue(s) from my past, it presented itself as a heaviness, sadness and pessimism. It’s fortunate that I have this level of self-awareness, after years of introspection, that I’m able to pinpoint what needs to be addressed. I also know when I’m avoiding issues, ignoring the red flags, and not taking care of my emotional well-being. I’m happy when I’m giving and being of service. I’m a Hypnotherapist, so no detective work required there really, but now I know first-hand, that balance is required, and I need to be taken care of too. My saving grace is my supportive friends, but there is only so much I can expect from friends, as they have their own lives and are not responsible for my well-being. I needed a way out, a plan, to dissolve the fog and come out from the ‘shadow-lands.’ My joy was gone, and I felt dissociated from life, I just wanted to isolate and hideaway.
Self-nurture and care are acts of self-love. Not taking this seriously led me down a road to despair, hopelessness, frustration, irritation, pessimism and exhaustion. Before I knew it, I was stuck in a quagmire of dense emotions that eclipsed out the light entirely. I needed to address some unresolved emotional trauma from my past, having previously found ways to cope by suppressing and avoiding. Unfortunately, issues never magically disappear, all that happens is that I would drive myself harder to stay ahead of them. That wall out there in the distance, was getting closer and closer, until I slammed head first into it.
How do you get from ‘Pain to Power’? I’ve been helping my clients resolve and release emotional trauma for 12 years now, using scientific researched methods designed to get results, like EMDR and The Havening Technique. Guiding them out of the Shadow-Lands, to relief, freedom, renewed energy and happiness. We will only start to ‘like where life takes us’, when we are in the driving seat, and being guided by a navigational system of positive emotions, rather than stumbling blindly through the dense fog of suppressed emotions, trying hard to avoid that dreaded wall.
As mentioned, for me, I sought out a good Integrative Psychotherapist, had Inner Child and trauma sessions, went on holiday (first one in 6 years) and stopped working so hard. I learned to say ‘no’ a lot more too. As much as I’d like to help everyone, I can’t. The fog is lifting gradually, but I still need to be mindful and careful. I always tell my clients to put their well-being at the forefront of their lives, now I’m heeding my own good advice.
If you would like to know more, please book a free discovery call with me – email me.