It is challenging being a woman and a sexual being. There are particular pressures and certain expectations on how we conduct ourselves with regards our sex life. If we have many sexual experiences with different partners, we may be labelled promiscuous; if we follow a strict moral then we can dodge the derogatory names.
We fall into line, into what is expected. Freud’s Whore and Madonna complex offers additional challenges and has embedded itself into the general psyche of humanity and divides females into two mutually exclusive categories. If we have many lovers then there are no end of labels and names that get launched our way. Names are not supposed to hurt, we can rise above them but in reality they do, quite simply because in many cases, they present as a surface manifestation, a reflection of a deeper internal conflict.
Those names have somehow already anchored themselves in our hearts. So we wage an internal war with ourselves in our struggle to understand our ‘promiscuous’ motivations, if those motivations lead to pain and a disconnection to the Goddess within. As women we collectively and unconsciously embody each and every one of the female archetypes. These archetypes have the potential to dominate our lives, depending on our childhood, culture and whether or not we experienced early sexual, physical, emotional abuse or rape. Abuse, does not call forth the purity of the ‘Innocent’ or ‘Orphan’ archetype, as we dissociate from our body in a desperate attempt to survive – on the contrary we might call forth the Seductress/Lover or the Rebel.
One of the most devastating repercussions of sexual abuse is the shame and humiliation that remains with the victim. These feelings are so toxic that they can set the stage for a life of sexual dysfunction, body dissociation, addiction, self-loathing and promiscuity.
Our core feminine value has been soiled, diminished, a feeling that we are now somehow unclean – and deeply flawed. Shame is now at the helm and like a weed wrapping itself around a flower sapping its very life force, it will wrap itself around the brilliant diamond of our innate feminine self and it will stay there, an immoveable force of tarnished darkness.
Shame will seek out relationships with men on the same energetic vibration, intimacy and authentic love will remain an idea, a concept that belongs in the movies and Jackie Collins fiction novels. There may be glimpses of real love, fleeting moments, but they never stay because our innate subconscious belief is that we are unworthy and simply not good enough. We will eclipse any potential partner out of our lives that does not reflect our internal reality. Intimacy is not a friend of shame and feels repulsive to an addict. The harder we search for validation and the more promiscuous we are, shame’s toxicity is continually fuelled as we are re-traumatized, remaining detached from our authentic feminine self.
We are a Rebel with a cause, a Seductress and an agenda – and men are going to pay. But in the end, we pay the highest price of all – like Sleeping Beauty, we have fallen asleep to our innate power. We are living a lie, and untruth, and this is what really hurts. We don’t need a man to charge in and rescue us and wake us from slumber, all we need to do is remember who we really are, and wake-up and remain awake, fully conscious and aware of the external lies that defined our femininity.
There is a distinct difference between ‘girls just want to have fun’ and promiscuity. There is no fun whatsoever in feeling unworthy, worthless and diminished. We can spend too many years trying to make life work within a self-defeating framework that is the opposite of who we really are. We assume there is security in the familiar, a safety in the known. Our soul is always calling us home to our authenticity and to the truth. It is wise to listen.
Eventually we realize that the only true security we really have, does not reside in the validation attributed to us by men, but in our willingness to heal. Hypnotherapy for Self Esteem will help heal those challenging feelings that keep us bound to the past archetypes. Once those feelings are acknowledged and released, we are then able to guide our life in a new direction and allow a new archetype to emerge, the Hero, Sage or Ruler.
We direct life on our terms, we are in control, and we are no longer pushed around by our unconscious feelings. We are intimately connected to who we are at our core. With the help of Hypnotherapy for Self Esteem, we will wake us up to our innate brilliance and evolve.
This is your life, live it to the fullest.